


Fighting Yesterday

by Tchalcons



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cisco Ramon-centric, Gen, I have a lot of reasons why Laurel shouldn't have died, Laurel Lance Deserves Better, Laurel Lance Lives, Pre-Blackvibe, Time Travel Fix-It, so does Cisco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 19:55:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6624085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tchalcons/pseuds/Tchalcons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What good was any of this, really, if they wouldn’t save all of the people they could? What good was Barry’s speed if he wouldn’t use it to save people he cared about, just because it could end badly? He’d saved so many strangers, so many people who would never know his name. But not his mother. Not Ronnie. Not Laurel. He hadn’t saved the people who mattered most.</p>
<p>And what good were Cisco’s powers when he hadn’t seen anything? When he hadn’t seen the attack coming, hadn’t been able to warn Laurel, or to protect one of the people he’d cared for so much?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fighting Yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> In a world with as much going on in it as the Legends of Flarrow verse, Laurel's death drives me up a wall. A few conversations with a friend, and this was born...If admittedly as more Cisco-Centric than I ever planned.
> 
> Feel free to come talk to me about Cisco, Blackvibe or just about anything else at my [Tumblr](http://samuelwilsonwrites.tumblr.com/)

Cisco had gone to bed early –for him- the night of the fifth. He and Caitlin had plans for the next day, they were going to get up early and go out just the two of them, the way things had been before their lives had become a craze of super heroes and alternate earths and time travel. It wouldn’t be much, really, they’d be nerding around Central City, hitting up their favorite places to eat and hang out, but they’d be hanging out outside of the lab, without the threat of Zoom hanging over their heads like he had been.

He’d gone to bed in a great mood, had woken up groggy but ready to have a good day.

And then he’d picked up his phone to shut off the alarm and had seen a text from Barry. ‘Call me when you’re up,’ The message read, making him frown a little. ‘Got a call from Felicity this morning. I’ve got bad news.’

The text had been sent a little before three that morning, and Cisco found he didn’t want to know what had happened that could have had Felicity up that late at night. He wanted to hope it’d be something simple, that Team Arrow just needed some tech help, that everything in their base had been destroyed and Cisco would have to rebuild what he’d put together for the other team. 

But something told him if that was the case Felicity would have told him herself. Barry would have waited until dawn to text him. 

He forced himself out of bed despite the dread settling in his stomach and made himself start to get changed because he knew there’d be no time to after he called Barry. Once he felt ready to start the day, he made the call, making his way towards the kitchen. He needed coffee, that was for sure.

“Cisco, hey.” Barry sounded like he’d been crying, voice rough in a way that made Cisco’s chest ache. “I uhh- You have any weird dreams last night?”

That made Cisco frown, and he shook his head a little, wondering what Barry expected him to say. Weird dreams were still vibes, half the time, bits of his abilities slipping through when Cisco’s own fear of what he was capable of wouldn’t hold him back. “If I did I would’ve called you, man. What happened?”

“Last night-“ Barry broke off, “I uhh- Felicity called. Hold on a sec, okay?”

Cisco wanted to say no, he wouldn’t hold on, but the line went dead and he sighed, moving towards the door. He threw the lock and the deadbolt easily, opened the door, and wasn’t shocked at all to see Barry in front of him, hand raised to knock. He looked shaken, somewhere between nervous and straight up afraid, though of what Cisco didn’t know. Cisco stepped aside to let him in, and despite the mystery, didn’t fight the need to step forward and pull the other man into a hug.

“Man, what the hell’s going on?” He asked when he pulled away. “What happened last night? Is everyone okay?” Barry didn’t say anything, but the expression that flashed across his face was enough to say everything he didn’t vocalize. For a moment, Cisco wanted to shake him, wanted to ask why he was just telling Cisco, and not the entire team at once if it was so bad. 

It wasn’t like something had happened to the team, after all. If it had, Felicity wouldn’t have called. She was still in Star City, as far as Cisco was concerned.

Realization dawned, sharp and cold as it washed over him and Cisco made himself take a step back, swallowing hard to try and steady himself. “Laurel,” He said quietly, voice flat. Had it been anyone else, Barry probably would have told him and Caitlin at once, and it wouldn’t have been something worth calling over in the middle of the night. But Barry knew how much he liked Laurel; she was his friend in a way that none of the rest of them could touch, after all. They’d spent time together outside of work as often as they could manage it, met in Star City and Central City and anywhere in between just to hang out and catch up. “Barry what happened to her? Is she okay?“

“I’m sorry,” The words were soft and sympathetic. “There were raids, last night. She went in with them, and she was- Darhk- She made it to the hospital but- She’s gone, Cisco.” 

There was an apology in the stumbling words words, Barry’s own grief and something that was a little too close to pity for Cisco’s comfort. He could do nothing more than stare at his friend for a moment, struggling and failing to comprehend what Barry was saying. Laurel Lance was a hero. She was an amazing woman. It didn’t make sense that she could be taken down so easily, and by a man like Darhk nonetheless. She, of everyone on that team had deserved so much more.

And she was gone, just like that?

“No, that can’t-“ He broke off, certain Barry wouldn’t lie to him but unwilling to acknowledge that it could possibly be true. “She can’t be dead. Darhk wasn’t even after her.” Barry looked confused at the words, at what Cisco knew about what had been happening in Star City, but he didn’t interrupt me. “Tell me you’re lying, Barry. Tell me it’s some sick joke, please.”

“It’s not. Felicity called me,” Barry repeated quietly, explaining. “She uhh- Didn’t want to be alone, last night. He had one of Oliver’s arrows, I guess. He stabbed her with it, and she... She died in the hospital, afterwards. It was… A way to hurt her father, or something. I don’t know, exactly. But I’m not lying, Cisco. I wouldn’t do that.”

“You have to be,” Cisco’s fingers tore through his hair and, without thinking he moved through the apartment, unable to sit still. He felt too scrambled to vibe properly, knew if he tried without something to guide him, it’d be a miserable failure, because he didn’t practice half as much as he should. But it was easy to find the photo album where he kept pictures of him and all of his friends and family- a habit he’d picked up after they’d lost Ronnie the first time. For a moment he hesitated, considered using the picture they’d taken the first time they’d met.

And then he bypassed it, pulled from it a picture of the two of them he’d convinced Laurel to take a few months ago. He’d gone to Star City for it, had convinced her to show him how the city celebrated the holidays, and then he’d bought them both hot chocolate for her troubles. It was, frankly, a bad picture, uncoordinated and off center. But Cisco had pulled it off his phone and printed it out anyways, because they’d both been happy, and just looking at it all Cisco could remember was her laugh.

He focused on that now, the memory of Laurel’s voice as she’d spoken of her city, giving him the tour. Her laughter, her smile, and just how nice it was to be close to her. It was easy to focus on his powers then, breath catching in his throat as the vision unfolded. It was just glimpses of the scene, of Laurel’s face and Darhk’s voice, blood spilling as she was stabbed. He was in a hospital, and she was smiling and at peace and she’d be fine and then she wasn’t at all.

He came back to himself as a doctor spoke, announcing her time of death, and had to fight the need to be sick then and there. “You can go back,” He said quietly, “You could- You can save her.”

“Cisco,” Barry shook his head, looking pained. Like maybe he’d thought of that himself. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Like hell you can’t,” Cisco shot back without hesitation, voice firm. “You just went back in time to try to figure out how to go faster.” He pointed out dryly, “You were chased by fucking time wraiths, because of something that you wanted to do for yourself. Even when none of us thought it was a good idea.”

“This is different,” Barry pointed out quietly, “I wasn’t saving anyone’s life. I wasn’t trying to change history.”

“And you did anyways,” Cisco’s arms were folded across his chest, his voice far cooler than he’d expected it to be. There were no words for the grief clawing through him, but he didn’t let himself cry. He had to fight for this instead. Someone had to fight for Laurel. “Every time you go back, something changes, and half the time it’s for the worse. Why not change something for the better for once?”

“Because we don’t know what else will change.” Barry sounded defeated, and for a moment Cisco wondered which one of them he was trying to convince. “Did you ever consider it’s not worth the risk?”

“Then what good are your powers, if you won’t risk it? Why call yourself a hero, when you’re just sitting there doing nothing?” Cisco demanded, “Why not save the people you actually want to?”

What good was any of this, really, if they wouldn’t save all of the people they could? What good was Barry’s speed if he wouldn’t use it to save people he cared about, just because it could end badly? He’d saved so many strangers, so many people who would never know his name. But not his mother. Not Ronnie. Not Laurel. He hadn’t saved the people who mattered most.

And what good were Cisco’s powers when he hadn’t seen anything? When he hadn’t seen the attack coming, hadn’t been able to warn Laurel, or to protect one of the people he’d cared for so much? 

What was the use of either of them having their abilities when they didn’t change anything when it mattered most? They were helpless in the face of death, just like everyone else. It didn’t feel like they should call themselves heroes at all.

“You don’t mean that.”

“Maybe I do,” Cisco countered. “Last I checked, actually saving people is a big part of being a hero. Turns out, neither of us can do it when it counts, half the time.” He figured he’d probably regret that, later. But that had no baring on now, and the odds were good Barry would forgive him for it given time. “Go home, Barry. Or go tell Caitlin. I need… I need to think about- I need to be alone.”

Cisco didn’t know what he needed, really. But Barry left, if a little reluctantly and at completely human speed. When he was gone, Cisco moved and sat at his kitchen table, head buried in his hands. He didn’t know what to do now. He wanted to cry, but somehow that didn’t feel like enough. 

It was just all he could bring himself to do. 

Cisco spent the day wandering around his apartment, aimless and unsure of what to do. Caitlin had offered to come over, to go out or stay in, but help get him out of his head in some way but Cisco had turned her down. He didn’t want to bring anyone down with this when he’d already snapped at Barry. She didn’t deserve that- none of this was her fault.

He really didn’t know how to apologize about the fact he’d basically said it was Barry’s, when the words still felt true. They’d all lost so much, since the particle accelerator had exploded. They’d made a difference in so many ways because of it, but it was so rarely in their own lives, when it came down to it. It was hard, not to blame Barry for not going back to save a friend. 

It didn’t matter that logically he understood where Barry was coming from. He understood why the other man wouldn’t want to risk running into the situation head first, why he wouldn’t want to take the risk of travelling back just a day in time. A day had changed absolutely everything, before, after all.

But they were only human. Why couldn’t they act it, for once? Why couldn’t they do something for themselves?

So he’d spent the entire day alone, in the safety and solace of his apartment, waiting it out. Every once in a while, it’d hit all over again and leave him reeling. He’d started a few texts that day, to Felicity and to Thea. To Joe, because he needed to talk to someone who felt like more of an adult to him, except it seemed rude to text Barry’s second father when they were kind of fighting.

He texted Dante instead, because there was no way to tell Sara what was going on and because even if they weren’t close, Dante was still his brother. And maybe it was because even if his brother didn’t know everything, he knew more than everyone else, and that felt like a blessing. And maybe it was selfish, but even if he couldn’t give him details, but Cisco needed his brother to know he loved him.

* * *

The next day he woke and checked his phone, half hoping the timeline would have changed. That Barry would have caved and gone back. It hadn’t though, and instead there was a message from Caitlin. The funeral would be in four days. It would be small and private according to the message, enough for the people who’d truly known Laurel to say goodbye.

She’d be laid to rest as Laurel Lance, but there would be an announcement- she’d be known as the Black Canary in death. She’d be given credit for what she’d done in life, and Cisco wondered briefly if anyone had ever asked Laurel if that was what she’d want.

The decision to get out of the house wasn’t quite a conscious one so much as it was the realization that if he sat around all day he might actually go crazy, even if actually interacting with people felt like a little much. The city was unchanged, bustling around him still, because of course nothing had changed. Central City still had their vigilante. Even Star City still had most of their team.

Staying in public felt exhausting, though, so instead of staying out, he made his way to the lab even if he didn’t quite feel like working. Maybe he’d be able to channel everything he felt into a new and improved invention, or maybe he’d just binge on the chocolate stash he had in his desk instead. At least it would be a change of scenery, and there was only a few people he could come in contact with here.

The lab was blissfully empty when he got there, and Cisco let himself pace, breathing in the familiarity. He kept far away from his desk -from schematics for new equipment he’d been working for everyone, Laurel included- and moved to sit at Caitlin’s instead. 

“Hey,” Cisco startled at the quiet voice grabbing the closest thing within reach, which happened to be a stapler, and chucking it at the intruder’s head. Barry caught it laughably easily and Cisco couldn’t help but scowl at him, a little more upset at him if only because there was no satisfaction in that.

“Hey,” He returned after a beat, breathing in slowly to calm his racing heart. It wouldn’t do to make things worse when the man was still one of his best friends, even with everything going on. “Sorry. You scared the shit out of me.”

Barry made a quiet, apologetic sound at that, “Didn’t mean to. Figured you’d hear me coming in. But well-“

“I’m distracted,” Cisco acknowledged, cutting in and cutting off Barry without a moment’s hesitation. “Kinda understandable, man.” He shifted to perch himself on Caitlin’s desk, looking over to the other man. “What can I do for you?” Surprisingly enough, there was no bitterness in his voice. If Barry truly needed something, Cisco wouldn’t be able to deny him it. It was part of having his back, he guessed.

“Let me apologize?” Barry moved closer, arms folded across his chest and seeming completely unsure of himself. “Cait kind of uhh- yelled at me, yesterday. About when we fought. A lot.” That made Cisco feel warm, pleased that Caitlin was always in his corner, just like he was in hers. “She said it’s not being selfish. Or at least, it’s an understandable kind of selfishness Because she wanted it too.”

“Ronnie,” Cisco agreed with a nod. They’d talked about it too many times, after everything. That Barry could have gone back to the night of the particle accelerator exploding. He could have helped them find Ronnie sooner, or saved him on that day. Cisco had wanted his friend back, but Caitlin? Ronnie had been her soulmate. Losing him twice would have made it more than worth it for her and Cisco hadn’t blamed her at all.

“She said she would’ve asked me. That if –if everything hadn’t happened that day, she would have. She said that maybe Iris feels the same.” Eddie. Of course Iris would want him back too, even if Cisco hadn’t thought of it before. “That even if you and Laurel weren’t- you know. That it’d make sense. You were close.”

“We were friends,” Cisco acknowledged, because it was easier than explaining dates that weren’t dates when they visited each other. Potential that had gone nowhere because she was still messed up over Oliver, and because Cisco was messed up over Kendra, because life was messed up. Because it wouldn’t have been fair to either of them and they were both mature enough to admit it, even if Cisco thought she was amazing and Laurel had been so comfortable around him every time they’d been together. “She didn’t deserve it, Barry.”

No one did. But Laurel, more than so many others, deserved to live. Maybe he was selfish in thinking that, but that had never stopped him before.

“It could change everything,” Barry cautioned, but Cisco thought maybe, he was caving. That maybe he truly understood. “You know that as well as I do.”

“Is that supposed to be a bad thing? You can’t exactly expect me to believe that any world where Laurel lives is worse off because of it.” Cisco defended, straightening up. “Besides. Everyone in Star City, they need her too.” He pointed out, “I don’t know what the future holds any more than you do, Barry. But there’s no future out there where having another hero is a bad thing.”

“You’re biased,” Barry accused, but he was nodding anyways. “But I know that, I do. I don’t think anyone can deny that she was…She was a good hero. Even Oliver admitted it, when he was in a good mood.”

“Will you do it, then?” Cisco had never been a master of subtlety and there was no reason to start it now, when they both knew what he wanted. It would be a waste of time to be anything less than direct. “Cause I mean. The worst part is I can tell you want to.” Because that was what his expression had meant, why he’d said it wasn’t worth the risk, right? Because he wanted to save her to, and when you were dealing with that it made it easier to try and be objective.

“I shouldn’t,” Barry admitted after a moment too long. He looked conflicted, and for a moment Cisco felt guilty for it. How much of an ass was he, for giving Barry the final push no one else would? Was he a bad friend for it? “But I will.” Cisco smiled at that, pushing himself up off Caitlin’s desk. “But only cause I like you. And cause I can’t imagine…No one should have to bury their family for something like this.”

There was real hurt there, and Cisco knew without a doubt that Barry was thinking of his mother, and how he hadn’t saved her again. There was only one thing to do when he looked like that, so Cisco pulled him into a tight hug, holding on a moment too long to offer whatever comfort he could.

“Thank you.”

“It’s not just for you,” Barry corrected, though the smile that touched his features said that yeah, it was mostly for Cisco. “It’s just- It’s like you said, right? A hero’s gotta save whoever they can. However they can. Sometimes that means you put everything on the line.”

They broke apart then, and Cisco rest a hand on the other’s shoulder, offering him a warm smile in turn. “Yeah. Something like that,” He agreed softly, “But I was wrong, yesterday. You’ve always been a hero. It’s just time to go prove it.”

* * *

Barry had been nervous all day, and Cisco didn’t understand it at all, but it was enough to keep him up at night, instead of trying to sleep early like he’d planned. He felt strange, off, like he was waiting on something that he just didn’t understand in the slightest. All day long he’d been on edge for it, but he hadn’t been able to force the vibe he’d felt sure was coming. 

And it had been happening all day long. It was exhausting, waiting for it.

He’d fallen asleep sometime around two in the morning, restless but tired enough to finally give in to sleep. Cisco didn’t know how long he’d been asleep for, when the nightmares started. He was in Star City, and watching Laurel die in what looked like a prison, killed by some kind of magic he didn’t understand. The scene reset and it was an arrow to the chest that had her falling to the ground. Again and again it reset, and each time, someone died. It was never Darhk who fell, though; never Darhk who met his end there. And then it was different, because Barry was there and because Darhk hadn’t known to expect him. He hadn’t been prepared for how a meta might change the course of battle.

The dream ended before Cisco could watch what happened, who lived or who died, and he startled awake, shaking himself to clear his head a little. He hadn’t been asleep for long, it wasn’t even five yet, and that at least explained why his head was fuzzy and fogged over, why he felt more like death than he had before sleeping.

It didn’t explain why his hands shook and his heart raced. It was disorienting and terrifying, because Cisco had no idea if what he’d seen was a nightmare of if he’d finally seen what he’d been waiting on all day.

He reached for his phone, dialed Barry’s number blindly and groaned when the other man didn’t answer him. Barry had to be okay. He had to be. If something had happened to him, Cisco had to believe that he would’ve known it. They were family in every way that mattered, that had to mean something.

Swearing to himself and only half aware of himself, he dialed the next number that came to mind. The only person who mattered, when he thought back to his dreams and what made fear rise in his throat above all else.

Laurel answered on the third ring, sounding painfully exhausted and immediately Cisco felt bad for it. “Cisco? What’s going on? Is everything alright?”

“I-“ What was Cisco supposed to say here? That he’d had a dream and had been afraid it was his powers? That he’d called Laurel because for a blinding moment he’d been so sure she was dead that it was a physical ache in his chest? “Barry- He umm, that is, did he-“

“Barry told you he came, then?” Laurel’s interjection was a welcome one, a reprieve from Cisco embarrassing himself by rambling as he had been. “I told him not to. I knew you’d worry.”

“Well yeah, I’d worry, you could have-“ He broke off and in that moment, everything was perfectly clear. Barry had been acting weird all day because he’d known. And how could he have known what was coming? Why would he have gone to Laurel first when he was so much closer to all of the others? “You’re my favorite. Of course I’d worry the most about you.”

“Not Barry?” There was a note of teasing in her voice despite how tired Laurel sounded, and Cisco let himself relax a little. It didn’t matter why Barry had gone back. The past was in the past, it was over, it had been fixed, and those things had to matter more.

And Laurel could never know, anyways. Even when Cisco confirmed it with Barry, no one else could ever know.

“Nah, Barry’s too fast for anything to happen to him. And he gets himself in trouble like twenty times a day. Besides, you’re cooler than him.”

“And you’re sweet,” The quiet words made Cisco grin even if she couldn’t see him. “But it’s late, Cisco. And I hope you’ll understand when I say it’s been a long day.”

“I know, I know. I just- I had to hear your voice.” It’s embarrassing, saying it out loud, but Cisco couldn’t make himself regret it. Not when he knew that there’d been at least one reality where he’d have never heard it again. “But I’ll let you sleep now. And hey! I’ll still see you for dinner next week, right?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Laurel assured him. “And we’ll talk before then.” Cisco nodded slowly at that, and bid Laurel a quiet goodnight as he leaned back in bed, hanging up the phone. They would talk later. They’d hang out for no reason other than because they wanted to.

Laurel would have a future, a chance to have all of that and more, because Barry had listened to him. Because Barry had gone against what he probably should have done, and he'd saved her. As far as Cisco was concerned, it was all that mattered right now. Anything else would be dealt with as it came.


End file.
